Some days I just want to write and write and write and never stop. Once the flow of creativity overcomes me, nothing else matters. It is so good to create!
I have long wanted to find a hobby, pastime, passion, pursuit or whatever you want to name it, that consumed me. I have mentioned previously that I have long wanted to paint, draw or do anything creative and always felt tinges, no – actually whopping ginormous great huge big pangs of jealousy when I see artistic friends totally absorbed in their art.
For a start I have never found anything that held my attention for very long, and I have so many started and unfinished projects that it is almost embarrassing. Another issue is that I am pretty well talentless artistically, I can’t even draw a straight line. I also have always had difficulty prioritising artistic pursuits over the more mundane things that take up my time. The “shoulds” and the “to do lists”, oh don’t get me started on lists. That is definitely something for another post.
For instance I could never sit down to write if the bed wasn’t made, dishes unwashed, washing to be done etc. I am changing, albeit slowly. I have realised a lot of these tactics while helpful in allowing me to be free to focus on what needs to be done, often serve as a form of procrastination. Now that I have connected with writing more frequently I am getting more flexible and trying to be less rigid. For example recently if the urge to write overcomes me, I am simply dropping everything and writing. Obviously this happens if I am physically in a position to do so, which most of the time I am fortunate to be. And might I add, fucking love it!
Procrastination and distraction are still my specialties for the most part, in fact I could write a thesis paper on both of these I am so damn good at them, so these are the challenges I expect to face as I carve out my path as an artist for 2016.
So yes, I want to write words. All of the words. All of the time!