I saw the above image on Facebook the other day and it resonated strongly with me. It is from my shero Brene Brown, who has taught me so much about vulnerability, courage and the acceptance of my own beautiful messes.
Last week I was speaking with a friend that I had lost contact with, in fact we hadn’t spoken for a year and a half, whereas we used to speak several times a week, so we had lots to talk about. It was so lovely to talk with her again after such a long time. As we were catching up on what has been happening this year, I began to tell her some of the challenges I have faced. Some I have written about here, some in my other blog and some I haven’t written about at all.
Suffice to say 2015 has been a pretty fucking full on and incredibly confronting year for me. From January right through in fact. I have been challenged in every way imaginable; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, professionally…oh I could go on and on with all of the -ally’s that have been challenged but you get the idea.
My friend was upset that I had gone through so much and was very sympathetic, but you know what, as I was telling my tales, I began to feel more and more gratitude for the experiences, all of them. I have never been great at sitting with any kind of discomfort, actually let me be honest, I COMPLETELY SUCK at being uncomfortable – in any way, shape or form. I do anything to avoid it and I can distract, numb and procrastinate like nobody I know.
But how do we know what we really want, if we never bump up against what makes us uncomfortable? If I have learnt anything, it is what I do want more of and I am going to make it happen! I actually rock at manifesting and deliberate creation, but this year for some reason, I just kind of coasted along, not intending anything, but I got every single thing I needed.
Yes, even the bullshit teaches us something.
As the year draws to a close I will be working through one of the Leonie Dawson workbooks I brought with me to Bali. As part of the process I will be reflecting back on this year, which I have never actually done before. I am excited about looking back, closing off and creating an amazing year ahead.
I am feeling very thankful for the mess, every single painful, agonising bit of it. It has taught me about what I want, what I don’t, what I can get rid of and what I should hold closer than ever before.
So much love from me to you as we end another incredible year on our beautiful planet.